JOY AMIDST GRIEF DURING CHRISTMAS

Christmas truly does reside in the heart and the heart is where it all comes together, isn’t it?

The heart can be a fickle thing though, so today, I wanted to share with you the possibility of the idea of choosing with our mind the heart attitude that we long to have.  Could it be it really is as simple as choosing to see the good and hope and choosing positivity?

As a side note, please don’t for a minute think that we are the put on your fake smile and play nice for the camera type of people.  We just aren’t.  We also aren’t pretending that people don’t have pain around the holidays.  

A  little backstory for you so you can understand where we are coming from with regards to true Christmas joy. 

My mom was completely paralyzed in a car wreck on the way to church on Christmas Day in 2005.  She had just 2 months earlier received her news of remission from Ovarian Cancer and she was so excited to be with her family and celebrate Christmas (she loved Christmas!).  

So, that to be said, that Christmas and many months after were spent in the ICU and then a specialty spinal injury center. 

I recall vividly getting to her house as soon as we could and it was a contradictory of moments.  There was turmoil and chaos and grief along with the house being beautifully decorated with Christmas lights and gifts everywhere.  But what I recall most of all is my Mom’s handwriting (that is so special as she would never write again) on one of those write on plates with ribbons going through it and she had written this, “Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift.”     

It completely smacked me in the soul at that moment..in a paradigm-shifting way it never had before.  CHRISTmas is only about Jesus and celebrating Him and His birth and the very real unshakeable HOPE that gives us to grab ahold of.  

So, it made it all the easier and more exciting on that day and every CHRISTmas after to truly joyfully say Merry CHRISTmas because without CHRISTmas we have no hope.  He is the one thing that makes all the pain worth it.  And, if the pain is designed for our good, and He will never let us go, then how can any of us not say Merry CHRISTmas as it is the unshakeable promise of hope of the true meaning of CHRISTmas!

Christmas isn’t about unwrapping gifts or even giving gifts, but something that should reside in our hearts every day and it’s that choosing to not let go of the very real and true hope in CHRIST that is ours no matter our current situation. It is in fact our lifeline!

That’s why it’s called CHRISTmas!  CHRISTmas isn’t about us but about Christ.  That makes it possible and wonderful then to celebrate the true meaning of CHRISTmas regardless and even because of our present circumstances whatever they may be.

During Christmas Day 2005 I found it even easier and needed to say from a true place Merry Christmas because I knew that no matter what happened to mom that day or after that Christ is real, He is our hope, and that was the only thing I could cling to.  As the whole world went dim before my eyes during all of that, He and His promises were all I could see and cling to

So, saying Merry Christmas became something I would cling to and long to hear because it reaffirmed my soul…yes…Christ is here…He is at hand, and He can not be shaken.  He is the one that holds your mom.  She is safe there.

She would go on to live almost 10 years to the day as a C1 quadriplegic and every Christmas thereafter, she always wanted to keep celebrating and get the tree out early and decorate (she would tell her caregivers where she wanted things) and buy too many gifts for all her grandkids as well. 

It wasn’t that the entire Christmas season wasn’t extra heavy and a solemn reminder for us, but there was also joy in the midst of it. 

Smiling through the pain as we would use her cough machine to cough her; joy watching the grandkids open their gifts as there was deep pain that she would never be able to pick them up again; love for her husband watching him open the gifts she had painstakingly picked out months earlier as the longing to put her arms around him or make him a cup of coffee was neverending. 

Joy and grief really can reside together and I do believe that makes the joy more of a choice and a persistent attitude and much more tangible and powerful.

Fast forward nearly 10 years later, and my Mom, on December 1, 2015, would finally be free from the chains that bound her to not only that wheelchair, and all her equipment she needed to stay alive for almost 10 years, but from this world and all that it entangles.  I am truly so happy for her, but there is, of course, a separate deeper grief that abides when someone you love so greatly is gone.  

I also experienced more tragic loss in the form of multiple miscarriages during the same time, and the last one was during the Christmas season. It was a dark time and I don’t wish to relive it or discuss it much except to say, I understand deep waters and trials during the holiday season, as I know so many others do as well.  

But, here lies the issue….

I don’t want my children to be my age and dread Christmas.  I don’t want my children to be adults and think Christmas is no big deal.  I don’t want my children to grow up thinking their mom didn’t like to celebrate Christmas and so why should they? 

 I don’t want my children or generations after to believe that circumstances and sadness have won…because they haven’t! 

I want to be that mom that instills a love of celebrating things that truly are worth celebrating! 

I want to let my children know that celebration can look as small as true joy in your heart no matter where you live or what amount of money you have. 

I want my children and their children after them to know how to celebrate and choose Hope and Joy no matter the present circumstances. I want them to have their hearts open to love and joy and peace!

All that being said, here is where I choose to make my stand.  

I choose love over fear. 

I choose joy over dwelling in my sorrow. 

I choose celebrations over circumstances. 

I choose hope despite my circumstances, despite my station in life. 

Hope is the ultimate catalyst because it does not disappoint! 

Choose Hope this Christmas!

Merry CHRISTmas dear friend!

Drop us a comment below and share with us why you choose hope and joy in the midst of your circumstances this Christmas!